You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
