How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
