Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
