I can tuck mytits in my pants
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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