Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
