i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
