Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
