Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
