If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
