Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
