Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
