Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
