At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
