took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Found your dick twin last night
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just pee around me
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
