I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
