Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
