thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
