i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
