Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So many bounce houses so little time
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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