Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
