I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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