ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
