Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
