we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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