is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
