i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
