I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just tell him i said nine months
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
