PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
