Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
