We're like a lot better than the average bears
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
