My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
