i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
