Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
