long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Found your dick twin last night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
