4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
