I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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