Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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