I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
