two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
