what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
