One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
