I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
