i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
