my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
