Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
