he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
