First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
