there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
