It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
