God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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