so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
