I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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